Today, on Kichijyouji Fighting Squad: Cafe Rangers! While fighting to rescue Master from the clutches of the evil Black Wrecker, our heroes Red Maki, Blue Taro, Yellow Toku, and Professor Minagawa discover the true identity of their nemesis. Can they handle the horrible shock?!
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[Minagawa]: Café Kichijyouji de
(The bell over the door jingles)
[Master]: Morning…… Taro? … Maki? … Weird, is no one here? Man, it’s almost time to open and every single one of them is late? Toku! Jun!
(Something falls down with a clatter)
[Master]: Huh? Is someone here? You’re late…… Who is that?
(Dramatic music!)
[Master]: Woah!
[Jun]: Good morning, Master
[Master]: J-Jun… That voice, is that you Jun? … What’s with that outfit?
[Jun]: Is something the matter?
[Master]: Something the…? What full body dyed-in-black costume, and that cape… and even a black iron mask! You look exactly like the bad buy in some fighting squad show
[Jun]: Exactly? Exactly, yes. (giggles)
[Master]: Jun. Are you feeling all right? Do you have a fever or something?
[Jun]: Things, come out!
[Things]: Eeeeee!!
[Master]: Woah! What are you guys? Ah, aaah! Let go! Jun, what are you playing at?
[Jun]: My name is the Prince of Darkness, Black Wrecker
[Master]: What?
[Jun]: It’s unfortunate, Master. If you haven’t been so nosy, you could have continued on in your peaceful role as master of Café Kichijyouji, just as you have until now
[Master]: What are you talking about, I wasn’t nosing into anything. You’re the one who suddenly showed up in that crazy outfit
[Jun]: In any case, you’ll be coming along with me. Things, get him!
[Things]: Eeeeee!!
[Master]: Wait, wait, wait! Jun, I don’t know what’s going on, but is there anything you’re unhappy with? I’ll listen to you. What is it that you’re unsatisfied with?
[Jun]: Things, do it!
[Things]: Eeeee!!
[Master]: Aagh…
[Maki]: Hold it!
[Master]: Ah, that voice… Aaah!
(Dramatic hero arrival music)
[Maki]: Red Maki, sighted!
[Taro]: Blue Taro, fully operational!
[Toku]: Yellow Toku, sorry for the wait!
[Maki, Taro, Toku]: We are the Kichijyouji Fighting Squad, the Café Rangers!
[Jun]: So you showed up, Café Rangers
[Taro]: Prince of Darkness, Black Wrecker! Capturing a sinless man unrelated to our battle – it’s unfair!
[Maki]: Come on! We’re your opponents
[Toku]: Prepare yourself, Black Wrecker!
[Master]: Are you all idiots?
(the superhero music suddenly stops)
[Master]: What is with those crazy outfits you’re all wearing? Hurry up and get rid of those stupid outfits and change into your uniforms! Besides, what is all this Café Ranger nonsense?
(Cue superhero music again)
[Minagawa]: (announcer voice) Kichijyouji Fighting Squad, the Café Rangers! They are the messengers of justice who protect Kichijyouji’s peace; the aloof men who threw away their pasts and chose the path of the alter human being in order to fight! (old man voice) And by the way, I was the one who altered them
[Master]: …Minagawa?
[Taro]: Professor Minagawa!
[Jun]: Oh, if it isn’t Professor Minagawa, appearing in the flesh
[Minagawa]: Black Wrecker. This day called today, we will finally settle the scoo-o-o-achoo! Ngaaaaaa…… Everyone, get him!
[Maki]: I dunno why but Professor Minagawa’s rallying cries are kinda boring…
[Taro]: At any rate, let’s go! Yellow Toku! Pink Maki!
[Toku]: Let’s settle this!
[Maki]: How many times do I have to tell you? I’m the Café Ranger’s leader, the main character! I’m Red Maki, not Pink!
[Taro]: Main character? Isn’t the main character me, Blue Taro?
[Maki]: Don’t try to steal the main character role. Besides, Blue is always number two. When you think of a color for the main character, it’s gotta be Red!
[Taro]: Yes, and you’re Pink. So that means you aren’t the main character, right Pink Maki?
[Maki]: I’m telling you, I’m Red! I’m the hero, the main character!
[Master]: You two. Don’t keep fighting even when you’re the Café Rangers
[Minagawa]: Well then, how about you be Red and Pink?
[Maki]: Red and Pink? Can that even happen?
[Minagawa]: Well you know, there aren’t enough members so… ah, what’s the big deal? One person can play multiple parts
[Maki]: One person playing multiple… Hey, that’s pretty sweet! All right! I’ll do it!
[Master]: Who cares already, hurry up and help me
[Taro]: Let’s go, Black Wrecker!
(The hero music restarts)
[Taro]: Final Blow: Disinfection Atta~ack!!!
(Psheeeeeeeee!)
[Things]: Eeeeeee!!
[Master]: (coughing) Ah, Taro! You got disinfectant spray all over me too!
[Maki]: Final Blow: Raw Garbage Thunderrrrr!!!
(Clunking of garbage)
[Maki]: Ha! Ha! Ha! Take out the garbage!
[Things]: Eeeeeee!!
[Master]: Ugh, geh, stop it, Maki!
[Toku]: Um, Professor Minagawa? I think the hostage is suffering some damage as well…
[Minagawa]: A few sacrifices are unavoidable, if it is for Justice!
[Master]: That’s not the point… That disinfectant spray and raw garbage were direct hits
[Toku]: All right! Then I’ll try out my Final Blow too!
[Master]: Stop Toku! Please, stop already!
[Toku]: Here I go! Final Blow: mmmmm, Curry Speed Eating! Ei! Ei ei ei ei! It’s curry but it’s delicious, it’s curry but it’s delicious! How is it?
[Master]: Toku. How the hell is that a Final Attack?
[Toku]: Eh? Oh, see, the yellow fighter is always a glutton, and my favorite food is curry rice… (gobbles a bite) Ah, Ma-Master, water please!
[Master]: These guys are no good. No good at all.
(The hero music stops)
[Jun]: Heh. Is this the true power of the Café Rangers? Attacks like those cannot take down the Black Wrecker
[Minagawa]: Aah, it can’t be helped. Since it’s come to this, I too must fight!
[Taro]: Professor Minagawa!
[Maki]: What is that doll?
[Minagawa]: Death Blow: Inescapable Curse!!
(Dramatic beats)
[Maki]: It’s working
[Toku]: The Black Wrecker is in pain!
[Maki, Taro, Toku]: How’s that? Do you give up? Eh-heh!
[Master]: What’re you boasting about? You guys are completely useless!
[Jun]: Aah… you…
(His mask starts cracking)
[Taro]: Look, there are cracks in the Black Wrecker’s mask
[Maki]: Eh, the Black Wrecker’s true identity will be exposed!
(The mask breaks)
[Toku]: Wo-woah!!!
[Taro]: No, it can’t be
[Maki]: You… you’re…
[Maki, Taro, Toku]: It’s Black Jun!
[Master]: It took you that long to notice? It was Jun’s voice from the start
(dramatic music)
[Minagawa]: (announcer voice) Black Jun. He fought evil with the Café Rangers as the fourth member. A few years previous, he was pulled into a storm during a difficult battle and his whereabouts became unknown. (professor voice) Who would have thought that we would meet again as enemies. What a shocking truth! Have you been learning cruelty?
[Jun]: Heh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it
[Taro]: What’s going on, Black Jun? Weren’t you once one of us?
[Maki]: Didn’t we fight together for justice, helping each other out…? So, why?
[Toku]: Why did you become the Black Wrecker?!
[Jun]: (giggles) I couldn’t stand just being a protector of justice
[Taro]: What did you say?
[Jun]: I want a greater power. One that can affect the whole world, the absolute power!
[Master]: Jun, what are you going to do if you get any more power than you’ve already got?
[Jun]: That’s why I sold my soul. To the evil queen who controls hell, to White Lucifer!
[Maki, Taro, Toku]: White Lucifer?!
[Jun]: This is the deal between me and White Lucifer. In other words, by betraying you all and escorting Master into hell…
[Master]: What?
[Jun]: … I could get more power than this. I won’t let you get in my way
[Master]: Wait a moment Jun. Why am I suddenly a part of your deal? And moreover, just who is this White Lucifer?
[Jun]: Farewell, everyone. May we meet again!
(Jun’s cape flares dramatically in the sudden wind)
[Master]: Wait, let me go! Jun! Hey, what are you guys doing? Hurry up and save me!
[Toku]: It’s no good. That Black Wrecker was actually Black Jun…
[Taro]: Even if he’s become our enemy now, I can’t attack a former comrade!
[Maki]: Neither can I. I can’t fight any more like this
[Master]: Hey! All of you can’t just give up!
[Minagawa]: (announcer voice) What in the world is Black Wrecker planning? And, what is White Lucifer’s true identity?
[Taro]: What will be the fate of our heroes, the Café Rangers? Riddles call in more riddles. To be continued, next time!
[Master]: Eh, what?
[Toku]: Next time, on Kichijyouji Fighting Squad: Café Rangers. Ah, the truth of fate! We will not forget you, Master! Look forward to it!
[Master]: What’s that?
[Maki]: Be sure to tune in to this station next week! You’ll never know what happened if you don’t
[Master]: Hey!! You can’t leave it until next week with an ending – with a cliffhanger like this!
[Minagawa]: Well then, see you next time (chuckles)
[Master]: Help me!!!
(Pause. Normal music fades up. Master moans)
[Jun]: Huh? Master fell asleep over here again…
[Maki]: Looks kinda like he’s having a nightmare
[Taro]: Should we wake him up?
[Minagawa]: Let’s leave him. It looks like he’s having a fun dream, to me
[Maki]: There’s still time before we open. Let’s let him have a good dream for a while longer
[Jun]: You’re right
(Master moans)
END.